A Way Too Late Year in Review: 2016

Apparently, this was the year I wrote about zombies. Lots of zombies. Fast zombies, slow zombies. Zombies on the big screen, the small screen, and the tabletop. If this year-end review included all my pop-culture immersion, Dead Set would be at the top of the list, for the best thing I watched this year, hands-down. As it stands, these year-end reflections focus solely on movies, so the British miniseries about eating brains on the set of Big Brother doesn’t qualify.

There were plenty of good and bad movies to watch over 2016. Besides zombie movies, I watched a lot of indie films. Some were good, while others weren’t. For the most part, re-watches confirmed my initial opinions, with a few exceptions. Although the good movies have mostly held up, other movies managed to age badly. And, of course, poor CGI will always be poor CGI.

2016: The Good

1. Train to Busan: One of the best zombie movies to come out in recent memory tops my list of best movies I watched this year. Train to Busan features great action sequences, thick tense scenes and a heaping dose of social commentary. A tight horror-thriller that will make you think about where you want to be when the zombie apocalypse hits.
2. Arrival: Sparse and beautiful, Arrival is the smartest alien invasion movie I’ve seen recently. Stellar performance from Any Adams as a linguist trying to unlock an alien language while the world crumbles around her. I’ve heard that director Denis Villeneuve is now on board to helm both the Blade Runner sequel and the Dune remake. I am totally fine with this.
3. The Millennium Trilogy: Why are we bothering with American remakes of Stieg Larsson’s novels when perfect movies of them already exist? Less of a trilogy and more of a nine-hour character arc, all credit here to Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander. Keep something light in the Netflix queue for a palate cleanse afterward.

2016: The Bad

1. Catwoman: Was there ever any doubt? There’s not enough alcohol in the world to make this movie enjoyable (and yet it’s still better than The Room). Featuring horrible writing and abysmal CGI, Catwoman’s only redeeming quality is giving the world Halle Berry’s Razzie acceptance speech.
2. Nurse: There’s good acting, bad acting, wooden acting, and Paz de la Huerta. Everything this movie tries to be (torture porn, T&A horror) has been done before and better by a hundred different movies. Not one of Kathleen Turner’s brightest IMDB entries (where the competition includes Dumb and Dumber To and Baby Geniuses).
3. Queen of the Damned: Loved the book. Hated the adaptation. Condensing two books into 90 minutes is criminal, and with none of the original cast returning, this sequel to Interview with the Vampire seemed destined for failure. Not even Aaliyah’s standout performance saves this movie.

2016: The Surprisingly Good

1. Pontypool: This one-room Canadian indie is amazing. If Stephen McHattie had a radio show I’d never stop listening. A great example of how to adapt a book into a tight, gripping thriller.
2. Deathgasm: One of the funnest movies I watched last year. Deathgasm’s trailer promised it would come at the audience balls-out and boy did the movie deliver.
3. We Are What Wr Are: I’m usually not a fan of remakes, but I’ll make an exception for We Are What We Are. Director Jim Mickle put a creative spin on this tale of cannibalism to makes the movie resonate with American audiences. At this point, I’d trust him to remake The Ten Commandments with panache and style.

2016: The Disappointing

1. Knights of Badassdom: God, I wanted to like this movie. Filmed in my hometown? Game of Thrones and True Blood actors? What could go wrong? Turns out plenty, when you don’t have a proper CGI budget.
2. Final Girl:  Such a wasted premise. Final Girl telegraphs every move and not in a good way. It’s not bad, but just…meh.
3. Hellboy: Time has not been kind to Hellboy. At this point, I’d settle for a remake with the original cast and an R rating. Anything less and I’m not interested.

That’s all for me on 2016. See you in 2017.

“Movie Theater” image by Flickr user Roey Ahram. CC BY-NC-ND 2.0