Wasted is the Fallout roguelike you’ve been waiting for.
Wasted: A Post-Apocalyptic Pub Crawler (we’ll just call it Wasted) is a perfect cocktail of Fallout and Borderlands served up in a fancy roguelike glass. It is at once engaging and frustrating. However, I’m sure that’s what draws so many people to the roguelike genre. Thanks to Adult Swim Games providing me with an early access copy of Wasted, I’ve sunk dozens of hours into diving heedlessly into underground vaults only to get my butt handed to me and try again from scratch. And yet, even as I write, I’m really thinking about what strategy I’m going to use for my next character or how to equip the one that might be two more down the line. It’s seriously more fun than a crowbar to the groin. I feel like my time in game has been anything but wasted.
Time for a quick synopsis. After the nukes fell in 1980, some fled to underground Cool Air Evacuation buildings or “Coolers” to escape the deadly radiation. Turns out that didn’t go as well as they’d hoped. Now the former shelters house a mutagenic, irradiated drink that the remaining wastelanders refer to as “booze”. As a lone wanderer of the Western Wastes (formerly California), it is up to the player to delve deeply into Coolers, lay waste to their enemies, and claim the oh so precious booze so they can get wasted. Standing in your way are a hapless horde of other waster gangs, terrible mutants, and the S.O.B. (Syndicate of Buzzkills). So strap on those fanny packs, blast some mindless pop music, and get you some booze.
Always keep a melee weapon handy.
The graphics are very Borderlands, but the majority of the game seems heavily inspired by Fallout. Even the choice of California as the backdrop harkens back to the original Fallout game. So there’s plenty to love for fans of the Fallout series as they blast their way through irradiated vaults in search of the sweet, mutating elixir contained within. While the music playing over radios in Wasted isn’t actually from the 80s, it is eerily reminiscent of repetitive pop music of the era. And if you listen at the right time, you can hear the DJ relay accounts of a wastelander wandering around and helping people in need. If there’s any game out there intent on giving the Fallout franchise a handjob, this is it.
Wasted, however, has more to it than simple dungeon delving and referential humor. As a modern roguelike, it has a couple mechanics built in to help players prepare for the horrifying death they will inevitably face. The Ony Express is one such method. Their motto, “If a problem comes along, you must ship it” is the game’s way of telling you to collect more shit than you need and shove it into curiously placed mailboxes found throughout the coolers. When players are delivered unto Death, their next character can simply check the mailbox back at their new home to find what was left for them by their benevolent predecessor. The other method is to gather things and bring them back to the house by way of drinking booze to pass out in a cooler and awake at home. From there, players can leave excess items in one of the many inexplicably bottomless containers or dressers. I personally always try to grab a couple extra fanny packs for the next time around. The house also has some crafting stations useful for making more powerful items to bring along for the next fateful journey.
Wasted is tough and unforgiving, so I have some completely unrequested advice. Firstly, keep a good melee weapon handy because bullets can get scarce if you’re filling every mutamutt you see full of lead. Secondly, don’t dawdle because the S.O.B. will hunt you down and turn your ass into swiss cheese if you get trapped in a corner. Thirdly, don’t rush down to depths you’re not ready to handle — drink the good booze, get a buff, and repeat until there’s nothing new to get. And finally, visit Mayday at the Gin & Gout out in Suckrimento for a cocktail whenever you can. Following these steps won’t guarantee a successful run (I still haven’t completed Cooler CA-1), but it’s sure better than getting bashed in the face with a baseball bat. Or, you know, shot up by any number of guns. Or blown up by a grenade. Frankly, there are a lot of ways to die and I’m clearly on a mission to experience them all. Oh, and don’t forget to explore the Ony Express for a couple extra quests when you get a chance.
Sometimes I can’t tell if Wasted is compelling or if I’m a masochist with a subconscious love of the 80s. Either way, I’m itching for my next fix. I need to go do a Courier Run and compare my score to the rest of the leaderboards! I need to see just how far I can get this time and maybe, for fuck’s sake, maybe I’ll actually finish the first cooler and get to move on. Hey, I never claimed to be good at this stuff, I just enjoy the challenge. However, until I find another one, that Discjoy is going to sit safely back at my house locked away in a box. You’ll never claim my portable radio, wastelands! Do you hear me? NEVER!
