Was Affleck Really the Bomb in Phantoms?

It’s a throwaway line in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, when Ben Affleck (as Holden McNeil) is talking to Jay and Silent Bob about Ben Affleck (the actor). Jay professes to not know who Affleck is, then disses on Good Will Hunting. Holden agrees, but then says “Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms, yo.” Everyone high-fives and they move on to the next joke.

Audiences might have missed the joke, since based on its $5.6 million box office take no one seems to have seen 1998’s Phantoms, based on the 1983 Dean Koontz novel and adapted by Koontz for the big screen. Phantoms is currently on Netflix, so I gave it a watch to see if Kevin Smith made the joke ironically or not. For Affleck’s sake I hope so. Phantoms has some interesting special effects and a unique premise, but ultimately the film falls flat between its contrived plot and uninspired acting by the main cast.

The film opens on Plot Contrivance #1. Dr. Jennifer Pailey (Joanna Going) is taking her sister Lisa (Rose McGowan) back to Pailey’s home of Snowfield, Colorado, ostensibly to keep Lisa away from Ronny, a boyfriend of ill repute. Once they get to the small mountain town, Jennifer and Lisa discover that the townsfolk are either dead or missing, and strange things are going on with the electronics. While trying to escape they meet up with Sheriff Bryce Hammond (Ben Affleck) and his band of cops. Exploring the town, Bryce and his group discover Plot Contrivance #2, the name of Dr. Timothy Flyte (Peter O’Toole) written in lipstick on a wall by one of the deceased. Hammond manages to make contact with the Army, who recruit Flyte to come to the town. Once there, Flyte and the Army discover what’s been going on: a creature of unknown origin is killing everyone because it wants to be worshipped as a god. Thanks to Plot Contrivance #3, Flyte manages to figure out how to defeat the creature, does so, and the cast leaves Snowfield.

I felt very neutral toward this movie. It had some creepy scenes (any time dogs appeared on screen), and was directed well, with effective use of lights and sounds to get around the limits of both the practical and CGI effects of the time. The premise was inventive. I have to give Koontz credit; he knows how to come up with a wacky idea and sell it with a straight face. However, Koontz’s adaptation of his own source material lacks a certain something. Since Phantoms was his first (and to date, only) screenplay credit, it suffers pacing problems and doesn’t really have a satisfying ending, relying on an open-ended stinger that sets up a possible sequel, but is illogical to the story and comes out of nowhere.

Despite director Joe Chapelle’s admirable use of practical effects, he seemed unable to get half his cast to act. While Peter O’Toole and Liev Schreiber manage decent performances, McGowan and Affleck play glorified versions of themselves. I have a hard time picturing Affleck as a good-old boy sheriff. The more I come to appreciate Affleck’s late-career resurgence in films such as Gone Girl and Argo, the more I hate him in anything prior to 2006. Despite the trope of saying the character’s name in every line, Affleck’s character’s name was out of my brain five minutes after the movie finished. I think Koontz’s screenplay is also at fault here. The characters spend the entire movie running from one scene to another and are never really developed. For example, once Jennifer and Lisa make it to Snowfield, the shady boyfriend is never mentioned again. Once they meet Bryce, the women (who were the focus of attention for the first twenty minutes of the movie) become secondary characters, doing nothing but scream, look on in horror, and play second fiddles to Affleck and O’Toole.

All told, Phantoms isn’t bad, but neither is it very good. If Kevin Smith used the word “bomb” to mean “bad,” then the joke makes sense. But if Phantoms proves anything, it solidifies my belief that Affleck needed more time to mature as an actor before he could deliver a truly awesome performance.

Phantoms tl;drs

Quick summary: To keep her sister away from a shady boyfriend, Dr. Jennifer Pailey takes Lisa back to her mountain town of Snowfield, Colorado. When they get there, however, they discover the town deserted and most of its inhabitants dead. They team up with the local sheriff to figure out what’s going on…and also to stay alive.

Too many writers? Dean Koontz adapted the screenplay from his own novel in a case of the writer being too close to the source material.

Recommended if you like: Practical effects, understanding Kevin Smith references.

Better than I expected? The practical effects are still gory, even in the age of CGI.

Worse than I hoped? The plot is a bit of an incoherent mess. Not a fan of the ending.

Should it be rebooted? With more than 50 novels, yet less than two dozen movies, I’d prefer some of Koontz’s other works make it to the big screen.

Verdict: Solid 5 out of 10: the film is creepy in parts but ultimately fails to engage the audience.

Related Reading: Wiki article

8 ready-for-film Koontz novels

Related Viewing: Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms, yo