Savage Lucy

Too many plot holes and logic leaps prevent this movie from being as entertaining as advertised.

First things first. The film’s premise? That you only use 10 percent of your brain? Bullshit. A myth. Debunked in 30 seconds with a quick Wikipedia search. I tend to dislike films that insult my intelligence, which Lucy has done from the very start. Unfortunately, the film never gets any better. It’s hampered by uneven pacing, logic holes that take me out of the narrative, tepid acting, and questionable direction. I’ll put the rest of my comments under a cut, because I want to discuss specific plot holes and don’t want to spoiler the movie, if you’re still interested in seeing it after my glowing intro.

Full bias disclosure: I am not the biggest fan of director Luc Besson. This may sound like sacrilege when discussing the director of Leon and The Fifth Element, but I stand by it. I find his films overlong and uneven, despite their oftentimes high-concept nature. (The Fifth Element in particular would have been better if it was an hour shorter. I know, I know: cue the pitchforks.) I’ve enjoyed the movie’s he’s written more than the one’s he’s directed: Taken and Bandidas. Those movies specifically were much more unified in plot and direction.

Unfortunately for Besson, Lucy suffers from his stated desire to make the film 1/3 Leon, 1/3 Inception and 1/3 2001. Where do I start? Let me give you a bulleted list of things running through my head as I watched this movie:

• At the beginning, we’re given no real introduction to Lucy and no reason why she gets herself into the predicament of delivering the case for Richard.
• The movie is initially set in Taiwan, but the bad guys are Korean? Why are they Korean? DOesn’t Taiwan have its own mob bosses?
• The violent scenes with Choi Min-sik are interspersed with an introduction to Morgan Freeman’s character, where he espouses the aforementioned 10 percent myth. First: bullshit. Second: Freeman phoned in his performance and his character didn’t need to be in the movie. Third: this scene features some heavy-handed overuse of stock footage, which happens throughout the rest of the film. Not sure where Besson was going with it, but it looked like lazy directing to me.
• After Lucy is implanted with the drugs, she’s supposed to be getting on a plane. The very next scene she’s in the back took of a Taiwanese restaurant chained to the wall INSTEAD OF GETTING ON A PLANE. What was the point of chaining her to the wall, except for the plot necessity of kicking her in the stomach and rupturing the drugs?
• Man, this list is getting long. I mean, we’re only at the first third of the movie. At this rate, I won’t even get to how Lucy transforms into Venom before becoming a supercomputer and disintegrating into a flash drive. But seriously. A flash drive? Lucy becomes a supercomputer in order to transfer all her knowledge and then is gonna transfer all that data via USB? That’s it; I’m done.

Also, could these two be standing any further apart? Does Freeman have halitosis or something?

When movies are bad, it’s sometimes difficult to pinpoint where exactly it went wrong or identify someone to blame. Not so here. As a writer, Luc Besson wrote a high-concept script without vetting it past a fifth-grade science teacher. As a director, Besson went out of his way to include such stock footage shots as the atomic bomb explosion, or two rhinos fucking. Besson’s production company EuropaCorp green lit  a movie of such unevenness it makes Family Guy seem even-handed. Lucy could have been improved in any number of ways, but mostly it needed someone else to look over the script and ask the hard questions, like “Once Lucy gets super smart, why is she asking everyone if they speak English? Can’t she learn another goddamn language?”

And if you need any further convincing, check out Lucy’s IMDB page, which says “People who liked Lucy also enjoyed Sex Tape.” I rest my case.

tl;drs

Blank is a blanker version of blank: Lucy is essentially Transcendence  with Scarlett Johansson instead of Johnny Depp.

Screen credits over/under: Under. For better or for worse (mostly worse), this is Luc Besson’s baby.

Recommended if you like: Logic holes; overused stock film shots

Better than I expected: Johansson can carry a film, which makes me excited for a Black Widow movie, should Marvel ever get off its ass and make one.

Worse than I hoped: Morgan Freeman phoned it in so much he could have been Al Pacino.

Lucy would work better as a(n): movie rooted in logic.

Verdict: If I need a Johansson/Besson fix, I’ll watch Match Point and La Femme Nikita back-to-back instead.