The Nerd Hierarchy

I’ve been toying around with this topic for a long time, and this won’t be the last time I talk about the nerd hierarchy, but something struck me with today’s PA comic that told me that I needed to make my opinions known to the internet. We absolutely have a nerd hierarchy, as people are want to do in any social structure, and it sucks. We’re a group of people who sometimes band together because we are outcasts, but man do we still also band together to point and laugh at some of our own, – let me be clear, I’m super guilty of this myself! – and it sucks.

It first struck me when I watched the My Little Pony documentary – Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony. As I mentioned in my review, I sat down to watch this film prepared to sit on my high horse (pun not intended) and laugh at dudes who like a kids show because they also make some truly horrible smut fan art on the internet. That is not what this show was about, and it is not what Bronies are about. The documentary was about how we shouldn’t hate on people who like something, and more to the point, when that something is about having more friendship and magic in their lives. I had a startling realization how much I picked an arbitrary line in the sand and said ‘I’m better than them because they do something I don’t understand’, and it made me ashamed of myself. Honestly, I didn’t know how to parse that.

I’ve worked hard to be treated as an equal in my small pond of geekdom – a girl who plays video games, RPG’s, band nerd, reads comic books – and I wasn’t always taken seriously or was met with barriers to being able to share in the fun with others. So I thought myself pretty open minded; everyone should be having fun here, that’s what fanning out over something is supposed to be about! Enjoy whatever makes you a geek, and you’ll get a thumbs up from me, because that is rad.

Unless you’re a Brony. Or a Furry. Or a Larper. Or… any other number of things that apparently make me uncomfortable.

I’m not going to give you the lecture on why we shouldn’t hate on other people for what they enjoy that in no way harms us, we all know it’s wrong. Hell, many of us were on the other end of that hate when we were much younger – I’m looking at you kids who probably got laughed at for playing Magic the Gathering at recess instead of playing four square with the other elementary school kids! We know that it’s wrong. But I still catch myself doing it! Not even a week ago I was telling someone about our 13th Age RPG night, and trying to explain my awesome forked lightning spell when I was asked if we do this at (insert Seattle local park here), and I immediately backpedaled and said something like “NOOOOOOOOOOO… that’s LARPing, and I draw the line at that creepy stuff. We just sit around at the table and pretend to be wizards!” Way more civilized.

The words came spilling out of my mouth and I felt like I was grasping at air trying to pull them back in. “Not that LARPing is bad or wrong!”, but I had already clearly made fun of another group even after I had that clear moment of why making fun of other groups that aren’t harming anyone was bad. Being an accepting person is learned behavior, and I haven’t practiced it enough. I don’t like that I mock someone for something they enjoy – it only serves to make them lower on some arbitrary nerd hierarchy and me elevated? And in the end, who bloody well cares where we fall on that spectrum?

And then a comic like this comes out from Penny Arcade:

There is that clear arbitrary line in the sand. Are you a LARPer? Then clearly, you are the worst. According to this comic at any rate – to which I laughed at it in my first pass! And then immediately that crushing shame came back. I was the worst. I would rather take away the fun that little kid is having at recess with his friends and stand on my patch of sand to say that I am better than those people. And that sucks.

I don’t know how to close this op-ed. I can tell you that I’m working on my knee jerk reaction to viciously mock nerdy things that I think are below me, and that I’ll wallow in guilt when I fail.  That won’t help anyone, but when I pick myself back up, I’ll point out to those who joined in with me on the mockery how we shouldn’t do that, and hopefully – eventually – we can forget the stupid nerd hierarchy, and just enjoy our geeky fun.