And Not a Soul To Hear – Reactions to Game of Thrones S3E9

It’s all we book-readers have ever wanted, show-watchers.

Warning! Major spoilers for Season 3, Episode 9 of Game of Thrones follow, as well as videos with some truly inspired use of the English language.

As Reuben eloquently put it earlier this week, those of us who have read A Song of Ice and Fire have been prepared (as much as one can be for this sort of thing) for Game of Thrones to tackle the Red Wedding for a very, very long time. We’ve been girding ourselves to have our hearts ripped out all over again, stocking up on tissues and comfort food. But the other thing we’ve been excitedly readying ourselves for is the delicious, delicious schadenfreude of experiencing the reactions of those sweet, summer children who had no idea what was coming. Many of us have been gleefully waiting to see the outrage, the despair and the outbursts of WTF from our families, friends and total strangers.

This whole week I’ve been soothing my own depression and rage (which, by the way, feels so unfair – I HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS WHEN I READ A STORM OF SWORDS EIGHT YEARS AGO, WHY DOES IT STILL HURT) with the amazing reactions of the masses. Today I’m going to share some of my absolute favorite reactions to the Red Wedding, the reactions that made me sip my over-sized golden goblet and say ‘heh.’

[youtube http://youtu.be/d1Z0Tv40RSs]

Take me too, Lord Jesus!

This video contains all the stages of grief in less than four minutes. She’s actually acting out all of the turmoil I felt internally when I read A Storm of Swords but was too emotionally insecure to show. GOOD FOR YOU NOW PLEASE DON’T KILL YOURSELF I AM KINDA CONCERNED.

[youtube http://youtu.be/PkxCn-v_UGE]

I love this one because every one looks at the book-reader like he can explain why their still-beating hearts were just ripped out of their chests and made into jam. Also it’s well cut so I didn’t have to listen to six minutes’ worth of horror and sadness and meat in a blender again.

Seriously, I’ve watched dozens of reactions videos by now, so not only can I quote the last seven or so minutes of ‘The Rains of Castamere’ heh for heh but also I’ve discovered if you just listen to the audio it really sounds like somebody threw a few steaks into a blender and is very, very upset about it.

[youtube http://youtu.be/BSKZkmJFH3g]

This might be my favorite. Anything where the reaction eventually just devolves into rolling helplessly around on the floor while your dog watches on in concern is just fantastic.

After Greywind is killed, she calls her dog over to her and hugs it desperately and that actually made me tear up a bit, which surprised me because I thought I was incapable of Game of Thrones-related tears after Michelle Fairley did her best to reach through the TV and inject sadness directly into my tear ducts.

[youtube http://youtu.be/78juOpTM3tE]

And finally, a compilation of some of the earliest and best reactions.

SPECIAL SEASON FINALE WEEKEND BONUS! George R.R. Martin reacting to fans reacting.

You can find more more reactions all over the web. Over on reddit, Operation Weep and Wail was established to chronicle Game of Thrones watchers’ reactions. On Twitter, we have @RedWeddingTears. The Game of Thrones Facebook page is a treasure trove of suffering.

Now just remember, oh show-watcher, no longer can you be called a sweet, summer child.

It’s definitely true that sometimes us book-readers are pretty insufferable (“READ THE BOOKS” is the usual exasperated refrain) but we really do share your pain, even if we just feel like we got to it first. We’ve lived with our favorite characters having been gone for a long time, so your fresh suffering reminds us that we aren’t alone. Now you can share that pain with us and just think of how awesome it’s going to be when you introduce somebody new to Game of Thrones! Please record their reactions. For posterity. Also because tears are surprisingly delicious, you’ll discover.

Just please don’t ever take it for granted that you don’t have to wait six goddamn years between TV seasons.

[youtube http://http://youtu.be/sUg7bHErk1s]